So I can definitely say that I’m not your normal person as when I look at family my perspective on it seems to be quite different in comparison to others.
Just recently I had a conversation with my mum saying family get togethers, and when I mean family we are talking with my stepbrothers and sisters and children etc., is over for me!
Well quite frankly I’m completely over my time being disrespected, my efforts being disrespected, my generosity being disrespected. I’m over family members that are completely toxic, always miserable, always moaning and groaning and everything is me me me! some people wear their choices( good or bad) like a coat of arms, a badge of honour. their sadness and toxicity just seeps into the energy field of everyone.
When I sat down and thought about my rationality in this decision I realised that the only family members that have been to my home (that I’ve lived in for the last 18 months) is my mum and her husband! Considering I’ve got family members that live less than 15 minutes drive from my house that’s fucking woeful!
Books and movies show us happy families. Sisters hanging out together, parents in love, Christmas joy blah blah blah. I don’t no about you but last time I stayed for Christmas day 8 members thought it was appropriate to turn up two hours late for lunch! Family is not supposed to be one-sided, painful to be around and quite frankly boring (unless we are watching a drama or comedy movie), however the reality is I think every family has got a nut-job or two running around in it. families often inflict the most pain within the family unit, as this space is the least exposed to the outside world.
So when we look at the term ‘Soul Sisters’ (and I’d like to add soul brothers here as they are just as important in our lives) I compare it to ‘family’. The difference is you choose these people and they seem to have a loyalty and honesty and spiritual connection with you that is such a strong bond that your authentic version of you is happy to come out and play knowing its safe.
So recently I had an experience that really showed me yet again what family is, who family is, and how it should look.
Why is it always when something big or traumatic happens you see with complete clarity who your real friends and family are?
While away on a trip I had my sciatica nerve decide to give me such a reality check that I was physically bed ridden for quite a few weeks. This continued when I came back home and rendered me useless, in a foetal position & turned me into a binge watching Blacklist show addict!
So here is my reality in the world of Melina. I’ve always said that I feel like I am the most lucky and blessed woman on earth! I have got friends globally that contact me for no reason at all or sometimes they just want to check up and make sure everything is okay. Now I’m not talking Facebook friends. I’m ******talking real friends. The ones that have your private number, have been to your home, have met your family, are privileged (in my case) to be in the VIP club as they have seen me really, really vulnerable!
These networks of friends are always touching my life and always there whether I like it or not. Get this clear when I say they are ALWAYS there without being asked.
So here I am quietly in hell experiencing pain, what I call Defcon 9, and I was getting messages from people, MY global people, saying hi and checking up on me (and remember I was in another country at the time on a holiday). Unbeknownst to them they did not know what I was going through. I had been in tears, foetal in pain and my shadow devil was fucking with my head to the point of being nearly suicidal again!
As much as those around me believe I’m an extravert I’m actually an ambivert. Always been too proud to reach out for help when I need it. Bloody ego!!
Loyalty and honesty are my two highest values and those close to me know I’d jump to someone’s aid in a Nano second so maybe that’s why I have these ‘sisters’ constantly connected with me.
These friends, these soul sisters (and some soul brothers) came to my aid in the level of love and vibration that I would only get from my mother and as soon as I got off a plane from my trip they were bugging me like flies on shit!
So what is love and friendship and ‘soul sisters/brothers’ to me?
- Those who go out of their way to help without being asked.
- Offer to cook when your sick or injured
- Clean your place (and you if necessary)
- Shop for groceries, medication or run errands
- Talk for hours about…nothing if necessary
- Sit with you when your sad or angry and let you vent, cry or scream with no judgment
- Look after your kids to give you a night off (or a few weeks in my case)
- Run random errands for you
- Let you cry with them
- Put your needs as a priority in tough times
- Keep you grounded
- Lift your spirits when needed
- Help you grow by challenging you
- Eat ice-cream and watch trashy chick flicks when you’ve been dumped (such a girl thing)
- Be your confidant
- Act as your secret diary
- Provide strength when you feel depleted
- A kind of a bitch when needed to help pull your head in!
- They make you want to see the sun when all you see is the clouds
- Pull you up on your bullshit
- Get drunk with you
- Celebrate and dream with you
- Give you total freedom to be yourself…the good, bad and ugly versions
- Connect via the heart
- They never sympathise they empathise
- Have sprinkles of nut-job in them to keep you sane and keep you laughing and on your toes No topic is off limits
- Dance anywhere anytime with you
- Come to events even when its not their thing as support
- Talk dirty with you
- Compare notes on dates
- The things you laugh about together would make no sense to other people
- Time has no boundaries to your relationship
- Treat you as their family!
- They are your kindred spirit
- Literally bug the shit out you out of love and they keep doing this over and over again even when you refuse their offerings.
- The people who show up, (Not in the physical sense that in the literal sense) showing up means to be totally present with what somebody else is experiencing despite the fact they may have never experienced it for themselves.
- practising non-judgement.
These people show with actions not just words that they simply give a shit. Not just in times of hardship… far too many people do well in the “highlight” reel of life, they failed to turn up with themselves and therefore can’t possibly turn up for anyone else. but not these genuine soul brothers and sisters. they do real raw and ugly, that’s what makes them so special to find.
ALL THE FUCKING TIME!
They tap into your energy and vibration and just know when to contact you.
So this solo stubborn old cow wants to say a massive thank you to all my soul sisters and brothers for making me feel a shade of human when I’m at the end of my tether.
For assisting me in the mind fog I sometimes experience so I can open my eyes the next day and put a smile on it.
My soul sisters make me feel like a super hero when I’m struggling
They instil in me power to overcome and rise due to our collective sincere love energy
my soul family is my family!
Intimacy & Adult Product Lifestyle Educator, Author, Speaker Dating & Sex, Love & Intimacy Expert
With a focus message of intimacy, communication, trust and respect, Melina created this business with the goal to enhance relationships and lower the divorce rate for years to come. A Her becoming single a Her 11 years of marriage Melina decided she wanted to get her own inner sparkle back. Her journey started into the world of self-discovery and adult products and was mortified at the misinformation and sleaziness of the adult industry. Breaking all the rules in the industry by putting a face to the company Melina is now the leading Intimate Lifestyle Educator in Australia today speaking as a guest speaker at various women’s events.
Melina has created Australia’s first complete boxset of ‘Intimacy’ products providing a full sensory experience. To complete the experience, Taboo Intimacy assists you with scenarios, education and play cards to keep the joy happening.
Melina operates the front end of the business direct to the public and has recently opened a new Wholesale division with her own branding of Intimacy products for Hotel Minibars.
Melina also runs workshops and online program to educate women on the topics of love, sex, relationship & intimacy. Melina is author of the soon to be released book “Win the Dating Game”. She has authored the More Romance = New Profit book targeted at her Taboo Intimacy Wholesalers available for free download on her website.