“I once went on a blind date with a man who followed me to the gig I had afterwards, left to pee, came back an hour later very drunk, and revealed in the parking lot he had multiple felony assault charges! Google is your friend, ladies.”
“I went out with someone who drank two bottles of wine. Clearly, I slept with him anyway. I woke up in the middle of the night to find him PEEING OFF THE SIDE OF MY BED IN HIS SLEEP.”
“I ended up dating a guy a few times. Eventually he asked if I’d like to see his flat, and I said yes. He had loads of swords and machetes on the wall and decided to hold one to my throat to show me how incredibly strong they were.”
“We met online, and he seemed cool and funny. We went out a few times. A few weeks in, he told me I was almost perfect, except my upper arms were fat. I think he meant it as a compliment.”
“When I didn’t want to go on a second date, he sent me a photo of him cutting himself with blood everywhere titled, ‘I bleed for you.’”
“While arranging a third date he asked if he could stay at mine. Before I could say ‘no, wait until you’re invited’, he said that if he did stay he would have to have a strategic w*nk beforehand as he hadn’t had sex in a while. Needless to say there was no third date!”
“Guy I’d been seeing a couple of weeks: ‘Do you mind if I brush your hair with my mum’s hairbrush?’ His mother had died twelve years prior to this”.
“On picking me up for a first date he produced a picture from his wallet of a model in a wedding dress. He then showed it to my mum and told her that was the dress he imagined his future wife wearing”.
“He told me he shaved his legs because he was a keen cyclist. Turned out it was because he liked to dress up in women’s clothes. Mine…”.
“He told me he was in love with another woman – his mother – and I would have to ‘overcome’ her to prove myself to him”.
 
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