Recently I asked myself a question: “Why do we need LOVE?”
Being in a relationship can cause plenty of headaches and heart-attacks (kidding). If that is the case, why do we still want to be in a relationship?
So today I thought I might share with you some of my thoughts and the reasons why I think intimate relationships are important.
Most of you somewhere already know about my background and why I’m so passionate about relationships. I believe that my background somewhat shaped the way I think about love and even created a stronger desire. For those of you that don’t know, I grew up in a family where my dad was quite abusive towards me and my mum, which shaped the way I attracted men in my life later on. At the age of 15 I got into a relationship with a young boy, to then spend the next 6 years being physically and emotionally abused. When I left that relationship I promised to myself that I would never settle for a relationship that is less than what I truly deserved. So I devoted years of my life to learn how I can create the relationship that is full of love and passion. I guess in a way, I craved love because that what I was missing.
But put aside my story, why do we all need love?
- I believe that intimate relationships are the backbone of everything we do and experience in life.. Isn’t it true that doesn’t matter how much money we have, what car we drive, what house we live in, if our love life and intimate relationship are not where we want them to be, we sure experience some sort of pain and frustration? On the other hand, if our intimate relationship is going great (doesn’t mean that it’s perfect), then we will experience more love, joy and fulfilment in our lives. True or true?
- Love magnifies the quality of our life, it either adds more colour and flavor into it or creates even bigger emotional gaps and voids. Intimate relationships (i believe) are the enhancer or magnifier of your life. It will enhance the experiences you have on this place called Earth, with someone you call your true love. But it can also work in the opposite, where it magnifies many issues and problems that you might have in different areas of your life.
- Love gives you a sense of certainty, comfort and belonging. It doesn’t really matter who you are in this world, we all long for a sense of love & belonging, to feel that we are loved and accepted. When you look at the time of cave men and cave women, a sense of belonging means that you don’t get kicked out of the tribe, which also means you lessen your chance of survival. Hence love and belonging was no longer a want or desire, they become a necessity.
- When your body experience a feeling of love through the acts of bonding, cuddling, making love etc. there are happy hormones that get released into your body (oxytoxyn, dopamine, etc.), which helps fight against stress, adrenaline etc.
- When we talk about love, it’s not just the external love that I refer to. It also refers to the internal self love that we need to fill in our tank. Many people spend a lot of their time searching for what’s external and forget that they are responsible for creating that love from within. When you truly experience the love and connection from within, you’ll feel happier, more content, fulfilled and confident.
- Love gives you a reason to fight for something bigger than yourself. When you love someone, there is a desire to become more so that you can contribute more into the relationship or the lives of those you love.
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