LETS TALK SUICIDE!
I’m surrounded by suicide. My Brother & Grandfather suicided, my Dad and Myself have attempted it and I have a string of other people in my life who are dead.
Did you know Suicide in Australia has hit some all time highs in the last few years?
With World Suicide Prevention Day coming up on the 10th SEPTEMBER get strapped in as we get vulnerable and chat all things suicide with REAL stories, REAL stats, REAL successful tips and REAL outreach contact information.
So WHY am I doing this article?
These stats are simply…fucked up & shits gotta change! We have to STOP avoiding this topic and STOP the methods we use to deal with them (useless methods with stats increasing every year) and START talking about this MORE!
I have two men who I have spoken to lately that expressed some scary figures in their life about friend’s suiciding.
One has lost 10 male friends in the last year.
The second has lost 31 male friends in the last 3 years.
2,866 TOTAL DEATHS BY SUICIDE in 2016 with 2,151 males and 715 females.
Middle age men 30-34 and 40-54 age groups are highest
with the exception of Males 85+ age group which is the highest age-specific suicide rate in 2016 for Men
Yet my brother suicided at 27 years old.
Was I shocked? NO
I had been expecting the phone call because he had battled for years being…human. He felt awkward in his body. His mind would never shut up so he turned to drugs for solace, which I totally understand. He was a volatile man and would beat his partners into submission as they would for some ungoldly reason like to ‘poke the bear’ even when they knew the circumstances (they like all violent relationships are co-dependant on each other. Not my cup of tea).
He struggled with pain, fear, guilt and SHAME!
He was a mean man when he was sober and really really loving and apologetic when he was drunk or high.
He was always SCARED even though on the surface he walked around with a bravado.
One day he decided to spend the entire day with mum. Life had been looking up and he had started recording his new album. They apparently talked about absolutely everyone he knew (the unknown suicide note) and then he came home, scared his partner into handing over her Bank Debit Card. Went out and got blind, high and gambled her entire weeks wage in the pokies, came home woke up the kid who was 1 years old by talking to him and kissing him (his goodbye), the baby woke up the partner who lost her banana’s at him for waking up the kid (I would have done the same), then he gaffer taped a hose tightly to the exhaust pipe to his partners car, sat in the drivers seat with the door locked (the ironic part here is he hadn’t driven a car a day in his life!) and died in about 2 minutes flat from the exhaust fumes. DEAD! RELEASED FROM HIS PAIN.
For males, in 2016 the most common mechanism of suicide was
hanging (57.8%), followed by poisoning by drugs (9.8%) and then firearms (8.0%).
My grandfather I discovered a few years ago suicided also.
The story was he was in Europe in the war as a UK infantry soldier. His wife sent him a letter saying she was leaving and taking the boys and he would never see them again. My dad at the time had only just been born. He convinced his superiors to let him go home but when he arrived she was long gone and so were his children. 4 years ago my fathers family in the UK, that he never knew existed, found him and asked him to visit. This is when he learned the truth. His dad never died in a motorcycle accident as he was told, he died with the letter from his wife in his hand and a bullet to his brain.
Male suicide is 3 times higher than females consistently over the past 10 years
My dad has tried soooo many times I told him to “give up trying!”
My dad was a parent at 17 years old. He grew up with a mother who I nicknamed ‘the devil incarnate’ who was sooo mean and horrible to him. She would throw the closest thing at him if she didn’t like what he said or did which could be a plate a chair or even a butchers knife.
I’ve been told stories (as my mother tried to protect us kids from the truth) that my father at 21 years old had a nervous breakdown (I would too if I had two kids at 18 years old!) and that was surprisingly his first attempt at suicide. He would down a bottle of sleeping pills and two bottles of Bourban. Write a suicide note and voila, wake up the next morning in a real WTF state of disappointment!
For males, in 2016 the most common mechanism of suicide was hanging (57.8%), followed by poisoning by drugs (9.8%) and then firearms (8.0%).
This man has tried sooo many times (I’m not kidding people’s this man should be dead at least 10 times over) that now he is just trying to drink and eat himself to death! Whatever lesson this man is here to learn has not been learned hence why he is still here however this is one pissed off man still being in existence!!
He is a hoarder and keeps having to build extensions on his house to hold his collections. He believes it makes him happy (you should see him when he’s snapped a bargain or at a Trash n Treasure. He’s like a giddy kid!) but he did admit when I asked the direct question that his stuff makes him “FEEL SAFE”. He said he has lost his belongings many times over between moving country and three marriages that this is his ‘safety blanket’. I call this a Band-Aid for the bigger problems.
Will he try it again? PROBABLY
For females, in 2016 hanging (47.4%) was also the most common method,
followed by poisoning by drugs (28.1%).
I attempted suicide as a teenager twice
Obviously I wasn’t successful! LOL
I remember the first time I got sooo drunk that I stepped out infront of a semi trailer truck on a main road. Must have given the poor man a heart attack! All I remember is him screeching to halt and me losing my shit at him because I wasn’t fucking dead!!! Faaarrrkkkkk
Self Harm is higher with females than males and aged between teens-44 years
Second time I got stoned and drunk and was in the bathroom with a razor blade. I’d done my research so I knew to go up the arm. I was living with mum at my godmothers house and her daughters instincts had kicked in and she knew what I was up to and kicked in the bathroom door and caught me with the blade in my hand. I was sixteen at both times. Shit year for me.
I had been sitting in the deepest darkest pits of hell hole and didn’t know how to claw myself out of it. My world had crumbled and I’d assisted it to get worse. My dad left and when he left he left us kids with mum. At the time I hated her. I had zero connection to her.
MY DAD WAS MY BUDDHA
I worshipped the ground he walked on and he was gone! He had moved in with a ‘friend’ who he was fucking and later married and was spending all his time trying butter-up her children to like him so really we didn’t exist. My cousin who was my age (and I was secretly in love with) died from a freak motorbike accident. My mums bank got robbed at gun point so she was a basket case and would hit the deck if a car backfired! My boyfriend had drugged me with some laced marijuana that fucked me up soo much (I have an extremely high tolerance) that I couldn’t talk or move and proceeded to take our virginity (rape what would’ve been like dead corpse) all whilst my best friend is high as a kite with her boyfriend next to me in the tent watching a purple dragon dance around her!
I had moved homes numerous times, became a daily drug user and loooooved Vodka a bit too much, switched schools, wagged sooo much I missed half a year of study then went from a straight A student with a Scholarship to a straight F student in 1 year. I was soo tired and self absorbed and rebellious and angry and frustrated and tired (did I say tired?) that reality was
Life on Earth was HELL for me!
THE THOUGHT OF DEATH AS A VACATION FOR ME!
You need to understand people who suicide
- Have NO fear of death they fear life more
- Don’t normally talk about suicide (those are the attention seekers ) they just do it
- Tend to do it as their life starts to improve as the fear of fucking it up is too scary (opposite to common belief that it happens when we are at our bottom)
So would I try it again? FUCK NO. No need to anymore. I have healed and know who I am and what makes me tick, why it makes me tick, when I allow outside society to influence my innate system, what my purpose is this lifetime and what runs my show. I have it all in black and white and by doing this I finally felt ‘seen’. Soo seen that I spent the last year studying Human Design as its soo scarily accurate.
Here are 10 Tips of what I do when I’m off beat and feeling shit
- I take my shoes off and place them on the earth to get Grounded (works in under 20 min)
- I look at MY questions from my Human Design I need to ask to see what is running my show (mask or known as shadow) and…let it go!
- I have cleaned up my diet
- I fuck with my brain and tell my brain the cup of tea I’m drinking is Vodka (some days I drink a lot of tea)
- I listen to 532Hz music and Crystal bowl music in bed to calm my brain down
- I downloaded the iPromise app which is 7 minutes of real yoga (not this stretches crap they have made into a billion dollar business) and do it daily
- I exercise more (really important men exercise daily)
- I don’t take ANY drugs and booze intake is normally maximum 2 drink limit
- I look in the mirror and say out loud “There are BILLIONS of people out there worse off than me!”
- I message a friend when I feel I’m overwhelmed with life
According to hospital data, in the 2008-2009 financial year 62% of people who werehospitalised due to self-harm were female
There are approximately 65,300 suicide attempts each year
My perception of death and suicide and healing is a little different to others. After years of counselling the only thing I got out of it was learning how to cry when I was sad not livid angry!
I don’t agree with medication for depression because you might as well go get high!
“People who are cutting themselves and doing self-harm in any way are trying to FEEL INTO THEIR BODY”
You go and medicate them you are taking them out of their body! That’s the opposite to what they need.
Right now I have 3 females around me toying with self-harm and suicide.
Lowest suicide rates are males & females under the 20
One is a teenager who is cutting herself. Her mum is soo busy trying to be the SuperMum that she is missing what her teenage daughter is screaming for…BOUNDARIES, LOVE & ATTENTION!!!
I have a friend in her late 30’s who is neck deep into BDSM and shibari rope tying. She is doing this regularly (and I have seen pics of her having steel pins put through her skin) and thinks this is ok. With fetish and kink behaviour I have a saying
“There is a line. One side is called ‘Curiosity’ and the other is called ‘Counselling’!”
You can gain pleasure from shibari however being tightly tied up is again you screaming to FEEL IN YOUR BODY!!
My other friend is in her 50’s and she is soo tired she dreams of death. She is soo torn with what is right and wrong that she puts her needs last. She has gained heaps of weight in the last few months and aged severely.
Avoidance of Confrontation & Truth is also another form of self-harm.
So what now?
I have placed some info below in regards to reach out centers however I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t look at this from a holistic all round methodology from someone that has been successfully heaping people to heal depression for decades!
As they say “YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT”.
This is literal as Food-less foods, life-less drinks, toxic medications are all pro-inflammatory and can cause physical, emotional and mental imbalance.
Here are my tips for helping to turn depression around naturally:
- Avoid refined SUGARS, artificial sweeteners and white flour
- Avoid Prescription and OTC drugs
- Eat Pineapple and Oranges together
- Exercise More
- Get Sunshine
- Eat Clean foods like fruit & vegetables
- Eat more Almonds
- Use Lavender Oil
- Choose what you Focus on Daily
Read more info here https://tolmanselfcare.com/blogs/blog/how-to-overcome-and-prevent-depression-naturally
As I’m about to journey into the Red Center and volunteer some of my time with the Aboriginal community I thought I’d add in this last scary statistic from Australia Bureau of Statistics
Indigenous suicide rates are between two and four times those of non-Indigenous Australians in the 15 and 44 age group
So as I fully absorb this information I want you to pick up the phone and message 5 people and simply ask
“How you doing mate?”
MEN’S HEALTH SERVICES
Guys I’m gonna cut through the shit and show you some unique ways you can QUICKLY IMPROVE your life with some amazing men that can show you techniques to get you back on track. I have put a list down to cover health (make sure your exercising daily men as this is vital) with the awesome Don & Tyler Tolman, a Men’s Group to connect and openly chat, one of the most down to earth male warriors I’ve come across and some men that can assist with anything sex!
I’m all for counseling however if you’ve never heard of NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming (the big wigs like Tony Robbins -motivational coach) T. Harv Eker – millionaire mindset coach and Dr Demartini – values expert use this so check them out) this shit works way fricken faster!! So I’ve cut through the shit for you and listed a bunch of awesome MEN to guide you back to….you.
Menergy “Journey of the Heart”
Menergy is the Victorian arm of a national not-for-profit organisation Mens Wellbeing that has been providing men’s events and men’s support groups for over 20 years.
Menergy is an all inclusive 3 day Men’s Gathering wilderness retreat that provides workshops and ritual around celebrating masculinity and helps men discover more of themselves in a nurturing, supported and trusted way. The detailed program we run has been developed for over 15 years and has seen thousands of men grow and learn through this process.
At the heart of a Menergy weekend is the opportunity to attend and partake in many of the myriad of workshops that are focused on men’s health and wellbeing. These workshops help men to be empowered in our masculinity through vulnerability, support, and a greater understanding of trusting ourselves and our unique gifts as men.
Human Design Specialist
Mel Macdonald – “Your Personal Blueprint User Manual changes you for Life!”
I am an Intimacy & Adult Product Lifestyle Educator, Author “Win the Dating Game”, Speaker, Dating, Sex, Love & Intimacy Expert, Liquid Crystal and Human Design Practicioner.
I’ve always said it would be great if Babies came with their own HOW TO MANUALS. What if I said there is such a thing? EACH HUMAN IS UNIQUE
What I discovered was with some simple information provided you could be handed a manual designed just for YOU that explains YOUR Specific PURPOSE to fullfil this lifetime. Each Human Design Chart identifies how YOU Love, Care, Fear, operate within Relationships, Sexuality, how & why you may gain Weight, work with Business, whether you naturally operate Emotionally or Logically and everything else under the masks we always wear to survive. It is a blueprint of HOW you authentically and naturally were designed to operate and interact with the world. Guaranteed to change your life and finally be SEEN for who YOU really are!
Email Mel to enquire about your How to Manual Today and start living your true life purpose!
Stef Sifandos “Learn How To Ignite Power, Presence & Prosperity In Your Life Through Becoming A Warrior King”
Stef is a relational alchemist, international speaker, author and change-maker dedicated to helping you create a life of meaning and purpose.
Through a series of simple and often life-changing practices, Stef helps you cultivate a deeper connection with your authentic Self. In turn, you may develop the power to dramatically transform your relationships and your whole life.
Wholefood Medicine Man
Don Tolman – “Disease is NOT a mystery despite what we’ve been led to believe”
Over the years in the international media I’ve been referred to as the “Wholefood Medicine Man” and also the “Indiana Jones of Wholefoods”…all because of a 17 year quest that took me around the world in search of an ancient sacred meal known as, ‘Pulse’.
It was a journey that allowed me to find precious nuggets of wisdom about health handed down from ancient cultures, that is today hidden under lock and key.
The ‘ancient healers’ taught that there were “7 Principles of Health” and that these were the secrets to living a happy, healthy, disease-free life. Let Don show you how to build you a healthy and happier life today
Colon Cleanse and Detox Specialist
Tyler Tolman – “Change your health, change your life”
is a world-renowned speaker, facilitator, author and health revolutionist. He has touched the lives of people around the world, helping them to heal their bodies and live disease-free through basic yet powerful daily principles of health.
JOIN THE FREE 7 DAY CLEANSE Clear Out Toxins & Heal Your Body Using The 4 Channels Of Elimination Now
Sacred Relationship Healing
Cameron Priyadarshana Fraser –“Discovery Your Three Sacred Relationships”
I am a Certified Sexologist, Registered Yoga Teacher, Tantric Practitioner, Workshop Facilitator and Erotic Coach. My passion is Sacred Relating and I consider it my calling to help you cultivate an honest and unconditionally loving relationship with yourself, with consciousness and with others. Explore the session options to find the right path to your own Sacred Relationship Healing.
Download his FREE ebook at http://www.kamawellnessperth.com/
Eyal Matsliah –“Imagine experiencing deep self love, ecstatic sex, and a fulfilling relationship”
Ejaculation Control & Orgasmic Educator, Author of Orgasm Unleashed – Your guide to pleasure, healing and power”, an orgasm guide for women
I’ve been practicing and teaching ejaculation control for over 15 years and I feel deeply called to share this life-changing practice with more men. I truly believe that mastering this will improve or even transform your relationship, career and wellbeing! I’ve created a free video training to help you last longer in bed. Download the FREE video series now.
World Suicide Prevention Day 10 SEPTEMBER check out the official website: http://wspd.org.au/events/
SUICIDE PREVENTION in Australian site https://www.suicidepreventionaust.org/projects/world-suicide-prevention-day
LIVING BEYOND SUICIDE If you’ve lost someone to suicide and are looking for support services please get in touch with our Living Beyond Suicide team on 1300 761 193.
LIFELINE – For support regarding suicide prevention call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
BEYOND BLUE – For support with depression for both the sufferer and carer contact https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ or 1300 22 46 36
Intimacy & Adult Product Lifestyle Educator, Author “Win the Dating Game”, Speaker Dating & Sex, Love & Intimacy Expert, Liquid Crystal and Human Design Practitioner
With a focus message of intimacy, communication, trust and respect, Melina created this business with the goal to enhance relationships and lower the divorce rate for years to come. After becoming single after 11 years of marriage Melina decided she wanted to get her own inner sparkle back. Her journey started into the world of self-discovery and adult products and was mortified at the misinformation and sleaziness of the adult industry. Breaking all the rules in the industry by putting a face to the company Melina is now the leading Intimate Lifestyle Educator in Australia today speaking as a guest speaker at various women’s events.
Combining unique modalities and personal experience makes Melina stand out in her industry.