As a Tantra teacher and somatic sexologist I often notice with couples I’m blessed and honoured to guide—particularly those who’ve been in a long-term relationship—romance and passion has waned. However, it does not have to be that way at all.
Every day can have a Valentine’s Day flavor once you ignite the flame of passion that is needed to practise Tantra in your relationship. Long-term or even newly formed relationships can be enhanced with Tantra practices so that love and intimacy need never leave. The practice of Tantra can bring erotic sexual experiences; however, Tantra is so much more than just about sex.
Tantra in coupleship is about ecstatic experiences in everyday life. How you eat, sleep and communicate while exploring love with each other. An objective of Tantra is to cultivate behaviours in relationship together, to open new doors to saying yes more often to living and loving a turned-on life in the world.
I will share a Tantric ritual that will not only enhance your relationship to a level that you may not have thought possible, it will develop a deeper trust in your partner and awaken your senses and enliven sensations in your body that will take you both into heightened states of bliss.
How to plan your Tantric Valentine’s Day Ritual
- Plan well in advance. Try to be near nature or the ocean. If that’s not possible create a sacred space in your bedroom or home and be sure to turn off your phone.
- Create a sacred space with candles, essential oils, silk sheets, massage oil, blindfold, sensual music, fur glove, feathers and romantic lighting. Go all out to make your Tantric nest ready for love.
- Make a platter that is easy to prepare with lush fruits, melted cocoa chocolate and whatever you both desire to drink. If you are planning on drinking alcohol make it minimal.
- Perhaps you could go all out and wear something erotic that makes you feel very sensual and playful.
- Prepare a fragrant warm bath that you can both enjoy or perhaps you could take turns to bathe while the other sets the sacred space up. When you are finished bathing and preparations are completed candles are lit. Just let the pleasure begin.
- Take turns to blindfold each other and slowly and seductively feed each other from the platter your prepared earlier. Teasing and tantalising awakens the senses and leaves you begging for more. Playfulness and laughter here are a must. For the men, when you are feeding your partner remember she holds the energy of the goddess as you feed her. Shower her in words of love and devotion. For women, appreciate his mind and powerful presence.
- A most important aspect as you explore your Tantric Valentine’s Day sacred union is to stay fully present within yourselves and to each other. Leave all your discussions about the past and future behind.
- A Tantric communication exercise that you may both enjoy is take turns to share something you love about each other. Men go first. “What I love about you is…” Then women. “What I love about you is…” Share at least three things, then finish with eye contact and gently breathe each other in.
- Play some music and slow dance together until you feel your bodies melt into one in union with each other. Use music that does not have words so you can stay present with each other without distractions. Allow yourselves to touch each other consciously, with heart, and allow your arousal to arise from deep within.
- With all of these suggested Tantric practices take your time! Less is more. As sexual energy may build in the body just stop, and relax for a few moments. Concentrate on calming your breath, just letting it return to normal. Do this practice a few times as you build more and more desire and sexual energy inside and then when the time feels right for you both drink each other in as you make love and divine union in your sacred space.
- After your lovemaking has come to an end lie next to each other and savour the after glow. Spoon each other and breathe together, synchronising your breath till you feel your bodies as one in sacred union.
I hope this Valentine’s Day Tantric ritual allows you both to explore being open to the embodied change that may continue to deepen and improve your relationship with each other. And the sexual aspect might just reach a new level that you may never have imagined.
If you would like to explore more ways you can live and love with a Tantric approach to your relationship, Jenni offers personal couples sessions and online programs and retreats that can turn your relationship from ordinary to extraordinary.
Sexologist and Internationally Approved Tantra Teacher