By Ella (Pam Ella)
Dependence on arousal and orgasm, either through masturbation, porn, or with a partner or several partners leads to feeling tired, frustrated and depleted. This is a situation of which I’ve healed hundreds of men, women and couples with the modern day version of Tantra or ‘NEO’ Tantra, meaning Non Ejaculatory Orgasm.
Why would we even want to experience NEO?
Practicing Tantra we learn to orgasm internally and channel ‘life force energy’ that we would otherwise expel in an ejaculation or clitoral stimulated orgasm (the explosion) back inwards. This leads to full bodied orgasmic states of pleasure that can last for hours. Filling us up with more energy leaving us replenished and revitalised.
There are many reasons someone may choose to watch porn. It might be to create intimacy with a partner and try new things in the bedroom. Or it may be to ejaculate as a means to numb, ‘switch off’, blow off steam or distract.
What happens if a person becomes addicted to the ‘need’ to release and is using porn to do so?
Pornography addiction is sometimes described as an obsessive addiction to a sexual fantasy. Huge doses of feel good chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin are released making this addictive. It can lead to all kinds of imbalances: erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.
The use of porn literally changes the neurochemistry in the brain and can have devastating effects on the mind, the body, intimate relationships, connection to self and the world around you.
Therefore, if a person becomes preoccupied (conditioned) to that kind of unrealistic portrayal of sexual arousal, they may find it difficult to get aroused or obtain satisfaction.
So, how do you stop being addicted to porn?

  1. .Acknowledge it. To yourself first. Then express it – either by writing it down, speak with your partner or tell a trusted friend.
  2. Set a goal to go without porn for a period of time. Don’t tell yourself you will never watch it again, be realistic. Pick something that is achievable for you and add a bit more to stretch yourself. 7 days, 30 days, 3 months.

  3. Practice pleasuring yourself without watching porn. Experience the sensations you feel in your body. Slow down. Explore what feels good

  4. Try pleasuring yourself without ejaculating. Learn Tantra to enjoy the sensations, and the energy it creates without the explosion and depletion of a fractioned based orgasm.

If you or your partner are currently struggling with any of this reach out for help. Engage a professional to assist you. A Tantric practitioner or a sex therapist or would be a great place to start.
Your Sacred Sexuality is but an extension of all you are and is just as important to invest in as your physical & mental health or your business. You are a whole complete being. If one area of your life is suffering or ‘out of balance’, the whole will suffer.
 
 
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Pam Ella
Love Coach, Author, Speaker, Healr and Tantra Guide
www.goddessinbody.com
 
 
 
 
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