Have you ever wondered how those who have experienced such grave amounts of hardship and trauma in their lives break the cycle and become successful beings?

If you were with me at the start of the year, you would have found me in my 2 bedroom never renovated apartment in Sydney’s south that I had just moved into.

Every dish used and stacked in the kitchen, laundry piled high, garbage piled against the front door, toys and books scattered everywhere, bed with no sheets, stained from the numerous accidents the kids had during the night, fridge empty and bank account emptier.

My children (aged 3 and 1) watching movies on repeat in front of the heater in their nappies, the most valuable moments of their lives being wasted.

I’m tucked into a corner in the kitchen out of sight, drunk, stoned and numb from pain killers, sobbing and delusional.

A ball of hatred, anger, frustration, guilt, shame, fear and apathy.

I’m sitting here because in the year leading up to this I had been forced put of my parents home because my husband and father had an argument ending in death threats.

With a 2 year old and a newborn on my own I didn’t cope well and turned to drinking heavily and eventually smoking weed again to conceal the loneliness.

My husband’s ice addiction got out of control without my knowledge and I found myself constantly being bombarded with questions by his overbearing and undermining mother.

I let so much scum into my home, the energy of degenerate was abundant.

After being evicted twice I moved with my children back into my parents DV household only to witness the atrocities I had grown with and spiralled further out of control.

For the first time in my life I had the police called on me, twice, and the Department of Family and Community Service’s threatening to take my children from me.

I had evolved into the abusive and neglectful mother I never wanted to be, from supressing my pain for so long and living in a state of blame, denial and excuses.

Huddled in the kitchen, that the sneaky voice in the back of my mind reemerged, coaxing me down the path of smoking ice again because you can disguise everything so much better. Living in euphoria, appearing completely sober, yet corroding your entire being. An experience I was all too familiar with pre kids.

Although a life without kids didn’t seem so bad at the time, it was at this point I envisioned the consequences of my actions if I chose to continue leading this life.

I had already imprinted my children with dysfunctional behaviour that could potentially manifest into their own experiences with violence, abuse, neglect, mental illness and addiction in their life and relationships. The thought of visiting my boys in prison because of what I taught them broke my heart.

I realised that I was the only one that could prevent that from occurring. I held the most influence in these boys lives and I had a moral obligation to ensure they learn the lessons in life to lead them to success and fulfillment.

Ultimately, I made the choice for me, because I wanted to have a relationship with my boys later in life that was trusting and enriching.

I quit everything cold turkey; it’s the person not the drugs.

I accepted help from social workers, counsellors, charities, friends and family; embracing gratitude for the first time in my life.

I took on every learning opportunity I possibly could; one can only evolve in the light of new awarenesses and knowledge.

I stopped living in denial of my pain and struggle, blaming everyone else for where I had gotten to in my life and making excuses for my behaviour; I am 100% responsible for the outcomes in my life.

Writing this bought up tears of regret and guilt for what I allowed to become, and tears of pride and joy for what I now am.

The contrast between now and the start of the year is astounding.

My dishes are piled in the kitchen upside down drying, the floor covered in arts and crafts from making Christmas decorations for our tree, the toys all ordered and packed away, bed made, washing under control, everything clean, organised and tidy; the house is now a home.

It’s only in hindsight that I am grateful for the hell I went through because of what I have learnt.

Everything that you need to overcome the struggles in your life is currently inside of you. The strength, the willpower, the motivation; it has and always will be there.

It comes down to you making a choice to take control of the direction you are heading.

Your life is your responsibility; no one else is making this happen or not happen, only you.

When you chose to evolve, a lot of people will be left behind in that process, because they do not serve or support you. You will always try and talk yourself out of it, but when you stay around negative energies they prevent you from evolving.

There is more help out there than you think. People that will help fill your fridge, help pay your bills, be there when you need them because they honestly want better for you and your family.

We only attract into our lives what we are as a means of ensuring we remain safe and to a certain degree comfortable, we stay in dysfunctional relationships, tolerate toxic people, continue on with destructive behaviour, because we can handle that pain and struggle. We don’t know if we can cope with the unfamiliar and unknown so we don’t venture there and therefore continue the cycle of pain and suffering in our lives.

However, breaking the cycle is the only way to move onward and upward in life.

Breaking the cycle is the only way to ensure no one that follows us ever suffers the same.

We are all leaders and our purpose is to lead our lives to higher ground.

19989651_10214235221933978_7848717992716054734_n Giulia Coletti, first and foremost, is a proud mother of 2 dashing young gentlemen and a bun in the oven.

She has dedicated her life to ensuring the cycle is broken in her life so her children go on to live joyful and successful lives, averting the struggles she has experienced.

Not just a mum, she is launching a 24/7 channel to ensure everyone in the world has access to the lessons our parents couldn’t teach us and those that we should have been taught in school.

A firm believer in the knowledge gained from one overcoming adversity being more powerful than any qualification, she is also developing a platform that connects everyone with the help they need by introducing them to someone who has been through what they are going through and come out the other end to live successful fulfilling lives.

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