Your ‘busy-ness’ is killing your relationship

By Jane Nguyen, IntimacyTV

A stressed business woman looks tired she answer telephones in her office
Are you someone who struggles to fit a lot in with the time you are given in a day?
Have you ever been so caught up with your to-do lists (yes I know, more than one), work, business, making money, kids etc.) that your relationship with your partner or even with yourself go on the back-burner?
I know this is amongst the biggest issue for men and women out there to balance their work, life & intimate relationships. For many, they settle to the comfort of knowing that someone is waiting for them when they get home. For others, it’s the idea that they need to work to earn money now, so they can have more time with their family and loved ones later. Others focus on their work so that they don’t have to face the truth of what’s really going on in their relationship.
If this is YOU, I want to break some news to you…Your ‘busy-ness’ is killing your relationship.
Too harsh?
I am so sorry to break the news in a way that might not be very comfortable to hear. But you need to hear this. Am I right? You know exactly what’s been going on in your relationship. You have noticed the lack of spark, connection or intimacy in your relationship. You have also noticed the frustration and arguments in your relationship.
I am here to serve you…and I believe that the best way to serve you is to tell you things for what they are without sugar-coating it.
So here are some truth bombs:

  1. Your relationship deserves respect and devotion as much as your career, your children, your social life etc.…probably even more.
  1. You have the same amount of hours per day as everyone else. So the question is not about finding more time but having more commitment for what’s truly important in your life.
  1. If you stop turning up at work, you’ll get fired. The same thing can happen in your relationship. Stop ‘turning up’ in your relationship and one day, you’re served with a redundancy.
  1. Drop that thinking that you work hard now so you can have more choices and time to spend with your family later. The truth is – no one likes feeling neglected and unappreciated, keep doing this and there won’t be any family to return later 
  1. This is properly the harshest one – your energy, time and effort dictates the area of priority in your life. If you haven’t spent the time or energy in your relationship, it’s just not your priority.
  1. The only difference between an OK relationship and the one that is hanging on by a thread is TIME. Don’t wait until it’s too late to start doing something about it.

So now that we’ve faced some truth bombs, let’s do something about it…If you are reading this, it means that you still have time to fix it.
Here are some simple ideas for you to try:

  • Set your alarm in your phone or schedule in your diary time for date nights at least once a month
  • Stop being busy & focus on being more effective and productive at work
  • Be 100% present (no divided attention) when you are at home with your loved ones.
  • Every month, focus on doing some fun experiences.
  • Spend at least 15-20 minutes each day to hug, cuddles and bond together
  • Always communicate openly with one another, especially when you experience challenges.
  • No phone or TV in the bedroom, instead focus on having more intimacy and connection in bed.
  • Spending time learning something new together
  • Spend time finding out about each other. As you have grown and changed over time, it’s important to continue to be curious about one another.

Jane xx
Learn how to create a healthy and happy relationship that is built on love, trust, intimacy and connection on our online course ”PASSIONATE RELATIONSHIP 101 FOR THE MODERN WOMEN