Long distance relationships can be really hard work; there is no doubt about it. Yet it is becoming increasingly more common to connect to people who live overseas these days.
I should know as I have personally had 3 relationships with men I met overseas. And did any of them work out? The answer is no however they were all amazing experiences for me.
Of course there are many couples that can make it work such as if their partners are in the military, working in the mining industry or away on business trips for months on end, yet when I’ve spoken to them, many of them had found it tough doing things alone.
There can be many reasons we choose to meet people overseas say over computers because let’s face it; we can easily hide behind fake personas and profiles and say anything to complete strangers. We might meet in a chat room, a dating site or just a group from Facebook.
Or if you are a work-a-holic, shy by nature, or generally spend a lot of time on your lap top, this is quite an easy way to meet potential suitors.
When I met my ex-fiance over My Space of all places, I found myself opening up in ways I never had felt safe to in the past. We had both just broken up with our partners and we were drawn to each other with the same betrayal and wounding. We felt so understood by the other and it became an incredible healing journey for me at the time.
Because the sexual aspect within the relationship was non-existent in the physical, we learnt to communicate our feelings in other ways; through self-expression, actively listening to each other’s stories and trusting the other with our most vulnerable secrets.
There was such a level of sacredness and self-discovery that did deepen overtime as the usual distractions weren’t there to block our connection. By this I mean watching TV or constantly talking to others on your phone. Due to the time difference between us, it meant we wanted to spend our hours really focusing on supporting and hearing the other person out. Even though it didn’t work out in the end, I feel so blessed I had a unique opportunity to allow my heart too fully open, and this can be quite common for many who have experienced trauma in their life.
I’ve also observed, working as an International Psychic Medium who specializes in ‘soulmates’ a few interesting facts. A majority of my clients who have fallen in love with people overseas have generally met someone who is a soulmate. As there are 72 in our soul pod on earth, we quite often connect to one who lives on the other side of the world, and it can flourish and work.
Yet there is certain idealism about LDRs; you may only see each for short periods of time, and not really experience each other’s annoying habits, you can be open and passionate with each other, yet also avoid the real battle fields as you can just hang up the phone and not resolve things.
jonatan-becerra-176647-unsplash (1)
There will always be hidden fears that arise, if the two of you are not balanced and secure within; whether it is lack of trust and jealousy issues, sexual frustration or you just feel sick of going to events alone every weekend. You reach of point of needing to make a decision which can have heartbreaking results.
Sometimes the love just isn’t enough to hold you together; you may both want different things, you cannot see any forward movement, getting a visa to live on the other side of the world and one of you leaving your family and friends is too painful. In my case, my fiancé just couldn’t handle the Australian Culture and he lost himself with no true support.
You may be living in this beautiful fantasy bubble, where all appears so perfect and you have finally met your match. Then one day you wake up and reality kicks in; this person isn’t by your side when you wake up, they aren’t there to greet you with a hug if you have had a bad day, they aren’t there too take you out to dinner and be a normal couple, and you finally make the call to just want more for yourself.
I am just coming from the place of being a realist, my own personal experiences and those of my clients. Even though there can be many positive aspects being in a LDR such as you still get to have your freedom and spend quality time with friends/family and  you have more time to work hard, study and focus on things that are important, the negatives can outweigh the positives after a while.
All relationships are for our own personal growth and offer us many valuable lessons and gifts. If your soul needed to experience this and to learn to deeply trust your partner then this is a wonderful way to master trust. If you are hiding behind a computer and offering the other person false promises and hope, then you are leading them on and you are not coming from integrity.
My advice is to always be truthful to what you really want, and to set time frames if you cannot see the relationship evolving and going anywhere. There is no point committing to a person who is happy where things are at, and won’t give something up to be with you. Life is short and I want you to all be in the most loving, amazing union with your beloved.
If you would like to book in a reading to ask the question is this relationship going anywhere then feel free to book in a session with me.
daniela-birchMy name is Daniela Birch. I have run a successful business as an International Psychic/Medium/Healer and Spiritual Teacher for the last 20 Years. I am an upcoming author of my first book ‘Soul Mates – Love within the Dark’.
WEBSITE ADDRESS: www.danielabirch.com
EMAIL: danielabirch3@gmail.com
intimacytv logo