Q: Caught up talking to an ex?
Dated someone for 14 months, thought she might be the one again somewhere down the road.
Thought I did it all. Open car doors, doors, help with coat/jacket, helped her around her house, washed the dishes after dinner so she can relax, was there for her emotionally and physically, supporting her, always telling her what a great person/mom she was because her self esteem was low due to bad relationships, and 2 bad marriages. Flowers for no reason to brighten her day. Became very close with her 3 sons and especially her granddaughter, treated them like they were my own. She told me I was everything she ever wanted in a guy and was looking for. We hardly ever argued. Then poof out of no where she changed and found out she was talking to a old boyfriend who cheated on her . I’m devastated. And can’t move on. Keep blaming myself thinking what did I not give her
A: Here is the simply fact, she didn’t have to work for your attention or love or….anything.
You handed shit over on a silver platter! When it came to her ex she had to work for him. She didn’t work for him in the relationship (hence cheating) and then realized it takes two to tango. Bottom line is men cheat because a need is not being met (not necessarily sex) and she has to fulfill that need to keep him. What need to she have to provide to you? Nothing. You made her do no work at all. She was on layby for you. You were trying to fix something broken and using the words “the one again” makes me see a pattern of rinse & repeat. Here is the deal, you do the same shit you get the same result. Its not them its you! Welcome to tough love mentoring! You cant build someone elses low self esteem. Try dating someone you don’t have to fix. People who have the rescuing trait do this to avoid rescuing themselves
Q:Bf prefers porn over me
Me and my bf have been together for about a year. At the beginning we had sex almost every day, few times a day. But not long after, we stopped having as much sex, which I suppose is normal. But it’s only been getting worse. He watches porn almost everyday, even when I’m home. I used to be ok with that, we used to watch porn together, but now he’s just doing it by himself early in the morning when he thinks I’m sleeping. Whenever I try to initiate something sexual, he usually shuts me off, saying he’s tired or not in the mood, but it seems he is always in the mood for porn and masturbating.
When I try to talk to him about it he gets mad and says I complain too much about it. is there a way I can talk to him about it? What does it mean when that happens? Does he not loves me anymore? I love him so much and I don’t want to leave before I know I tried everything I can. Please help.
A: Here is the deal, due to his excessive porn viewing his brain has been complete rewired.
Unfortuntely due to being such a taboo topic most men don’t realize that daily porn viewing over a long period of time cause ED Erectile disfunction. Short version is they see a womean they are attracted to and their dick doesn’t work! When they watch porn however it works fine. Imagine being a guy experiencing this? Its serious WTF material!! He doesn’t know whats happening and quite frankly this is embarrassing. His penis will only get half to ¾ erect when in the presence of a real human. This is a common problem today hence many young men turning to Viagra. I suggest you watch the Great Porn Experiment TedX talk where this is explained in 16minutes. My tip from experience in this area is watch it and leave it as a tab open in your laptop/computer. He will see the topic and go ‘Yeah!’, click on it and then spend the next week either slowing down the porn viewing and masturbation or researching the shit out of it to learn more.
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