Question: Mixed signals! What should I do?
I’ve been seeing a girl – Amy on and off and there are so many mixed signals, i’m not quite sure what to do. I was in a relationship when I first met her through friends. She said she wanted me so bad but I was with someone. After I broke up I started testing her but turned out she was seeing someone else at the time. That guy did mess with her feelings, she came to my house and we slept together. After that she was so cold so I stopped texting her. Two weeks later they broke up and she started texting me a lot and told me she wanted me back. Then I heard nothing for a few days and apparently the other guy wanted to come back with her. She said she stills wants to be with me. What should I do?
Answer: Ummmm mirror!! Both of you are messing each other around.
You start texting and stopped because you didn’t like her being cold so you respond with being cold??!!We can only have what we desire when we turn up first (and stay) as the version of the person we desire. You’ve turned up hot and cold because she is hot and cold and now your scratching your head. This is the perfect mirror reflection. So if you don’t like the mirror you need to adapt yourself till you. Do not wait for the other person. When we do this we attract that mirror and then it will be amazing. Work on you and stop fixating and responding to her behaviour.
Question: My boyfriend always puts his kids ahead of me
I’m in a relationship with a guy who is divorced and has 2 daughters in a previous relationship. When we started dating, he made it clear that his daughters were his top priority, which I understood.He’s also a pilot and is away a lot. I’ve always been patient and understanding of these constraints, but time and again, I have taken a far back seat to his kids and job.This past week marked our one year anniversary and we were both looking forward to celebrating on Sunday as I’ve got other commitment on Saturday. Today he told me that his daughter was going to be with her mother on Saturday, he was going to spend time with her on Sunday, canceling with me. I expressed my disappointment and told him I felt like I wasn’t a priority. He flew off the handle and accused me of trying to get him to compromise his relationship with his kids, which he does every time this topic comes up. I don’t know what to do. Should I ever come first? How can I get him to discuss this with me?
Answer: Focus on the biggest picture and be flexible
When you date someone with children you have to learn to be super flexible. The kids do come first — and it won’t always be that way, but while they’re minors, they will. Your anniversary is going to happen and that’s the important thing, and you can celebrate it on any day in the world! You can either discuss with him to see if he can have different arrangement with his ex. If she is not flexible, instead of making the situation stressful and tense, focus on the bigger picture which is you get to celebrate your anniversary together. Holidays – like Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays and even anniversaries have to be source of flexibility because there are so many relationships between the five of you (you, your boyfriend, his kids and their mom). Breathe. Take the high road, and be creative and flexible.
Please send your questions to email@example.com and out team will personally review and answer them.
*All names have been changed to protect privacy