By Coutney Maria Halsted
Did you know that your yoni (vagina) is the seat of your consciousness if you have one?
Did you know that having lots of yummy, penetrative orgasms is vital for your health, happiness and wellbeing
A number of women I know have told me that when they’re not in partnership, they simply let their sexual energy dry up.
I used to be the same.
Until, that is, I understood that no one else is responsible for either my sexual fulfilment or my happiness as a woman here on planet earth. Until I understood that by NOT opening up and pleasuring myself, not only was I missing out on juicy fun time and self connection, I was putting off opening up my power for another day. A day when some knight in shining armour would show up.
I’m an Aries. I don’t wait.
And also, if you don’t know what you like, how will anyone else?
So. Point number one.

Self pleasure is really important for a number of reasons.

Point number two.
To toy? But with which toy to toy?
Here’s the download: Your vagina is the most receptive point on your body. So receptive I once had a lover go down on me using chocolate body paint, and could literally taste the chocolate in my mouth! True story. That means you should only put substances that are food grade (edible) or top quality materials in there: because of the fact that it’s receptive and because this is the seat of your consciousness. This is your temple.  Honour her. Treat her with respect and worship and the gifts she will give you will be huge.
You will learn to rest in your feminine power in a way you never knew!
There are a lot of very interesting toys out there. I’m grateful for them all. Bring on the gush! However, it’s good to be aware of the quality and material when selecting a toy.
There are glass wands, fibreglass ‘mango juicers’ (a sex toy which has quite a cool story to it, as the name allows it to be shipped to women in countries where sex toys are illegal), there are high quality plastics, and more commonly, silicone.
These all have their pros. However, none of them emit energy.
And silicone, in fact, absorbs energy, which means that it will mute or absorb a quantity of your orgasmic energy as you are opening. It is also not as easy to cleanse. So if you are using it whilst you have trauma stored in there, there is not really an effective way to get it out. I personally have had this experience of feeling my orgasmicness muted whilst using silicone dildos, even though they were very high quality silicone. I just wasn’t opening to the places I knew I was capable of and felt frustrated as a result.

There is an easy remedy to female frustration and self disconnection…


It’s a biological need, yo!

But back to the point. A penis, or fingers, when inside a vagina will be simultaneously feeling what is happening AND emitting energy. They don’t call those lingams ‘wands of light’ for nothing!
An activated penis or fingers will literally penetrate with energy and consciousness as well as penetrate physically (stay tuned for my blog Electric Cocks and Where to Find Them). Fingers used for this purpose can be just as penetrative. It’s important that whatever is going in there not be sucking the energy away, as this is a receptive point. It was made to receive. That’s how the sexual polarity is made strong and the places you can go to can be more powerful.

Jade wands.

A crystal is a living, conscious mineral.
It vibrates subtly, and energetically interacts with your yoni. It’s a partnership. It is not only physically, but energetically penetrating your yoni open. I.e it is physically and energetically opening YOU and your whole life open. Your yoni is built to receive love and consciousness, so choosing to put something top quality inside your temple to bring yourself to ecstasy is a big statement to the universe.
It is saying
“This is what I deserve to receive. Top quality.”
The universe will respond to you in the whole rest of your life accordingly, by drawing quality matches to you.
Also, buying a jade wand is like making a lifetime commitment. And this wand is for you and only you to use. When I first used my wand I was like ‘Woah! This is reprogramming my vagina to know what it feels like to be with a lingam that is committed to me and only me, for a long time!’ You can use it as a reprogramming tool for what you want sexually and in relationship.
One of the other things I noticed after using my Jade wand for a while was that my periods became lighter. I think because a lot of stuck energy was cleared out and so my body didn’t have to release as much physically.

To Jade or not to Jade?

You’ll find a lot of websites that sell a variety of other crystals that you can choose instead.
Only ever use real nephrite jade or obsidian.
That’s it.

There are two reasons for this.

  1. Physical.
  2. Energetic



Crystals of the quartz variety tend to break and chip easily. In fact, many of the non-jade crystals do. Imagine you’re having a self pleasure session to heal the wounding in your yoni and then ‘snap!’ loving rose quartz crystal broken all up in your yoni.


not so loving now, is it?
Also, the fissures and cracks they can acquire on the outside can catch and breed bacteria. So what happens when a little crack on the outside scratches your yoni and then gives you bacterial infection?
Sad face.

Sad, very sad yoni face.

Jade and obsidian are unlikely to snap, break or chip. They are stronger and more reliable (kind what you want in a  wand of light, hey?;). Nephrite Jade is the best quality you can buy, so make sure you honour your value as a sexual being, by buying the best.

Energetic reasons

Rose quartz, amethyst and other more ‘high vibe’ stones are actually not a vibrational match for your yoni. Think about it. Feel it. The yoni is deep, she is a denser, deeper energy. She is quiet. She wants something that feels like home being used inside of her. The energetic part of this is more applicable to people using yoni eggs: if you’re going to use these higher vibrational stones, my recommendation is to only do so for short periods of time and then use your jade for longer periods.

One of the other benefits of using a jade wand as opposed to a penis shaped dildo, or other toys, is that it gives greater dexterity in accessing all the orgasmic points in the yoni.

(Sign up for my free download here in order to find out where they are and their psycho/energetic aspects). So if you have any particular point or area you want to work on, in order to open more to pleasure and self empowerment, you have the ability to do so.
I personally buy my products from They have top quality products and lots of information on their website. I am not affiliated with them and I am not receiving any money from them to write this. I’m sharing it with you because it’s a company I trust and believe in and know that the quality of their products is top notch. You can also invest in a jade egg while you’re on there, if that calls to you! And by the way, I know Anya who runs, and she’s gorgeous. Your money is going to a good place.
When your wand arrives in the mail, you may wish to cleanse, wash and sit with it for a while first. Get to know each other before using it for self pleasure. You are going to be partners for a long time. I sat with mine for many hours between my breasts, connecting it to my heart chakra, so that we could get acquainted. It felt really sweet. You may even wish to ritualise the beginning of your adventure into sex and consciousness together. 
Jade wands are a lifetime investment. And this is why I love mine: by choosing to buy a spiritual sexual tool like the jade wand, you are choosing to bring yourself to pleasure, deeper self connection, into awakening your creativity and consciousness and to also improving your lovemaking with another. It is not just a  thing that you use when you want to get off (though there is nothing wrong with that). It is an object you can have a relationship with, gratitude for and create deep healing using it in your life.
Just as you would with a partner, do not compromise on second best, simply due to price. Choose something you really love and trust, invest in it and then let the fruits pay off for many years to come.
You won’t regret it.
You’ll love it!
If you want to know more about the power of your vagina, come and participate in the Activating the Yoni workshop. In person in Melbourne, or Online. Also check out my Online Fierce Mystics – Sexual Priestess course which is now open for registration and is built for you to use your sex for joyous pleasure AND as a spiritual practice for self actualisation.
For those of you who want to go deep and have something tailor made for you, work with me one on one, in person or via Skype.
It’s about pleasure city.
It’s also about realising your full power as a woman on this planet.
We can change the world.
It’s starts with the yoni.
Courtney Maria Halsted
Writer, Coach, Facilitator and creator of new work. Self actualisation through sex and consciousness.

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