Anal sex! Such a taboo topic! Though, as a waxing technician, the anal area is treated with precious care. “Please turn to your side and hold your cheek up high, while I slide warm wax to your butthole.” It’s just another day at the office for me. In these positions, anal sex comes up in conversation quite frequently.
We all have a pretty good idea on how to prepare for anal sex and what to do just before the act. But, are we prepared for what could happen during sex that we least expect? They don’t call it fudge packing for no reason. That’s right, we need to make sure we’ve had our last bowel movement before any accidents end up being the faecal, “cough”, I mean focal point.
I’ve heard many stories in my beauty salon about all sorts of anal sex experiences. One in particular will never erase my mind. This is why I am going to give some tips into preventing any smearing accidents.
First, if you don’t feel confident in your partner looking at your private parts, most of the time it’s because you don’t like looking at it yourself. Book in to see your hair removal technician. This may just be your first step. You can look at getting a Brazilian wax or Laser Hair Removal. Keep the hair short in the front and bald in the back.
When you arrive home, get yourself in a comfortable position with a mirror and take a good look. Get real people. This is no joking matter. Learn to like what you see. Because, guess what? No matter what, your partner loves it. They wouldn’t want to get down and dirty with you otherwise. Though, I still need to carry on with my tips because we are preventing those white sheets leaving a stinky mess.
It’s nothing new. Anal bleaching is a service offered in specialised salons. It’s classified as a cosmetic service, though balancing the colour to the rest of the buttock area builds confidence. You can also purchase specialised creams to do it yourself at home. Always do your research first. Keep note: wait 24 hours after you have removed unwanted hairs before anal bleaching.
There are also other semi-permanent ways to lighten the skin. Laser treatments from a skin clinic is a far more advanced service. The Laser works more deep as it removes the melanin from the area. Check with your local Laser Skin Clinic if they provide this service or they can refer you.
So, we now have a smooth bald butthole. What’s next? We have to remember, looks are deceiving. It all may look pretty on the outside but our research has not ended. We need to take a closer look, inside! The best way to prepare your butthole to look pretty inside is to clean it out. Here are some techniques;
Douche – an act of rinsing the rectum. Using a douche device, you can buy these at a chemist, online or at a sex shop, fill it with warm water and squirt inside your rectum. The water will not drip out. Make sure to sit on the toilet to purge out any faecal matter. You can keep cleansing till the water flushes out clear. This should help you to remain worry free during intercourse, though, if you haven’t had a bowel movement all day, an enema might be the better option.
Enema – an act to soften stool and relieve constipation. In sex terms, to clean out most of your colon to prevent any doozies. Enema kits come with a tube, nozzle and a bag. I took the liberty to give this a go and report back to Intimacy TV Headquarters. I received my enema kit from LoveThySelf.com.au and was pleasantly surprised with the complimentary coffee enema solution. It’s the only way I take my coffee; up the bum! The experience wasn’t so different to the douche, though, it does clean further than the rectum into the intestinal tract. You fill the bag with warm water and hang it over the shower, if your shower is next to your toilet. Otherwise, you can hang it over the door or get one of those adhesive removable hangers from a hardware store. You sit on the toilet and insert the nozzle, to which is attached to the bag via a tube. Lubricate the nozzle with a little lubrication, also lubricate your anal area before sliding it in. It’s a prelude to what’s coming soon. Water slowly penetrates into your rectum and intestinal tract. Let the warmth soften faecal matter and any stool build up. When you feel a purge coming on, you let it all out. You can repeat this process till the water flushes out clear.
Colon Irrigation/Hydrotherapy (Colonics) – the practice of injecting water via the anus to flush out the colon. This technique is a deep cleanse and is quite popular for therapeutic treatments. Commonly known for health benefits, colonics has become a popular method for detoxification. Jess, from BrunswickHolisticHealth.com.au, created a relaxing and enjoyable ‘internal bath’ where you are in complete privacy. It is completely self administered in a sterile yet soothing environment. The therapy is excellent for digestive complaints, skin problems, headaches, fatigue and lack of energy. After a series of treatments you’ll be more than ready for your backdoor adventure.
Fasting – is the willing abstinence or reduction from some or all food, drink or both, for a period of time. Generally, our digestive system would create a bowel movement within 6 – 8 hours. It depends on whether your system has good gut health. Drinking a litre of water first thing in the morning each day will hydrate the colon and help strengthen the digestive system. Keep note when you have your first bowel movement in the day. If it’s quite early, you may have another one in the day. If you have bowel concerns, you may want to fast to be safe. Drinking only water, 3 – 5 litres for a day is naturally a benefit for good health. If you need something more filing, add a freshly made juice. For a colon cleanse juice, I highly recommend the CABALA juice designed by health expert, Don Tolman. It’s an acronym for the ingredients.
Apple x 2 Red
Beetroot 1/3 size of your fist
Apple x 2 Green
Lemon x1 with the rind
Apple x 2 Yellow
Drinking water and juice for the day will help keep your toosh clean and prevent any accidents later on in the bedroom. You’ll just make a few trips to the bathroom to cleanse out any back ups.
Lastly, never eat soup within 24 hours. That story will have to be kept private for client confidentiality purposes but what I can say is, since hearing the story in my beauty salon, I have never look at soup the same way again.
Make sure to sterilise your anal prep tools before and after each use by following the instructions that come with them. Once you have completed your prep, take a shower or bath and get yourself ready. Use coconut oil and lubricate your anal area. Keeping it hydrated will help the smooth sailing process. If you speak with your local chemist, get yourself a 5 ml syringe (without the needle). Uptake coconut oil and insert it into your rectum. Keep the coconut oil jar at arms reach when the time comes. However, condoms are not compatible with coconut oil. Even though you can not fall pregnant from anal sex, there are STD’s. Make sure to have a lubricant that works with the condom material, so there is no breakage. Always go slow and steady to start with in a position that feels comfortable; the spoon position seems to be the most popular for forking.
Now that you have all the information for a good anal probing, enjoy your bedroom experience. Let it be sensual, safe and it keeps your sheets clean.
and charismatic nature, she educates and entertains with her stories bringing balance to any life experience.
Lisa Jane hosts a quirky podcast show with life mentors a-like making sense of what it means to be a parent, partner and lover in modern society whilst staying true to yourself.
Lisa Jane has a workshop; Retreat with Lisa Jane, both online and live. She bridges the gap between Science and Beauty. With hands-on activities, simple strategies and techniques that helped her to get to where she is today; she shares with you a way you can get to where you want to be too. She never forgets self-care, so with that in mind, once you step into her workshop retreat, you are taken care of as if you are a guest in her own home.